Family Involvement: Overcoming an Alzheimer’s Diagnosis

A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is overwhelming to both the person being diagnosed, and to their loved ones. There is a sad realization that although this person isn’t gone, they are going to change-and that can be hard to cope with. Once one is diagnosed there is a period of time which the person can probably function on their own, or under the care or assistance of someone at home. Unfortunately, in some cases there will come a time when your loved one may need to look into memory care.

This is never an easy decision, especially when they are YOUR loved one; but the emotional, physical, and financial strains of caring for someone with a memory impairment can become too much for you to handle-regardless of how much you love them. 

To you, having to transfer your family member or loved one into residential memory care, makes you feel as though you are abandoning them. It is important to see that although you know you want to help this person, there comes a time when you realize you just can’t do it anymore. Here are a few things to consider when facing guilt of placing your loved one into residential memory care.

  1. This isn’t your fault. You did not cause this. You did not do anything wrong. Your loved one would continue to suffer from the illness whether you were the sole caregiver or they are under the care of others.
  2. Take time to grieve, but realize this person isn’t gone. Being a full time caregiver for a memory impaired person is a huge responsibility. It creates a sense of obligation. Knowing that you aren’t going to be able to be there for them is hard, but realize they are in professional hands, and you will still be able to spend time with the person-probably even MORE, valuable, time.
  3. Realize that you can’t live your life for another human being. You can only help them so much. There is only so much you can do. You did your best. Be proud of yourself for how much you’ve done thus far, and focus on the fact that this will be best for everyone.
  4. This is necessary for the safety and comfort of your loved one AND for you to be at peace, and be able to focus on your life and goals.
  5. Practice letting go. You have done what you can. Move forward with honor and let yourself be at peace knowing your loved one is safe and protected by professionals within one of the best WNY memory care facilities.

Guilt is a hard thing to deal with in any situation. When it concerns a loved one who is in a vulnerable position, it can make you feel powerless to give up their care to someone else. Once you have accepted that memory care is the best solution for you and your loved one, you can move forward and focus on being their family again, not just their caretaker.

For more information on why Tennyson Court is one of the top WNY memory care facilities, feel free to call us at (716) 632-9496.

  • Everyone at Tennyson Court has been so warm and loving to my father for the last 2 years. You have all made his life happier during his time there. You are all the eyes and hands of the families of your residents when we can not be with them.

  • Thank you for showing us and our mom so much care, love and attention while we were a part of the Tennyson family. You truly made our time with you so enjoyable!

    A former resident and Her family

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